Q. I am sick of these Nigerian crooks dumping their spam in my mail box every single day! What can be done to stop this? Nothing?
A. I send them a form reply to fit their form letter. If it achieves nothing else it will clog up their mail box. This is what I send them - you are welcome to use it and change it in any way you like.
--- boilerplate text begins ---
Thank you for your request for:
- an urgent business transaction
- urgent help
- immediate assistance
- investment proposal
- Calvary greetings
- Highly confidential
- all of the above
- none of the above
Owing to the volume of such requests, I am currently unable to give it my immediate attention. I have more than 300 requests similar to yours awaiting my attention, so it will take me a year or two to get around to dealing with yours. In the mean time, however, I would like to:
- send my condolences on the death of your rich relative who was deposed as the head of state of:
- Nigeria
- Congo
- Ivory Coast
- Burundi
- Uganda
- Togo
- Any country not named above
- send my condolences on the death of your rich relative with aids
- tell you how touched I am by your sincere testimony of your conversion from Islam
- tell you how touched I was by any other sob story not included above
- Tell you how impressed I am with the remarkable number of Nigerian banks that have dormant accounts in the name of rich dictators. crooks, embezzlers and the like.
- Tell you how impressed I am with the remarkable number of venal and corrupt banking or government officials in Nigeria, or Nigerians pretending to be venal and corrupt bank or government officials in other countries.
- Let you know that I wonder if there are any Nigerians who are not crooks.
Judging from the number of letters like yours that I receive, it is hard to imagine that there is a single honest person in Nigeria, because Nigerians who write such letters seem to expect people in other countries to be just as venal and corrupt as they are.
Read what happens to people like you:
Nigerian Conman Jailed Over 419 Scam
[Pretoria News, Thursday Sep 6, 2002]
by Hanti Otto, Court Reporter
A Nigerian man in South Africa, found guilty of racketeering, was yesterday sentenced in the Specialized Commercial Crimes Court to 12 years imprisonment.
Samuel Williams (35) pleaded guilty to the crime in terms of the Prevention of Organized Crime Act of 1998. He was arrested by the Scorpions1 on August 16.
Williams managed the South African branch of a crime syndicate that operated from the house in Sandton where he and other Nigerians were arrested. The crime syndicate operated the so-called 419 scam, which refers to Section 419 of the Nigerian Criminal Legislation prohibiting the use of false letters to obtain funds.
The scam would offer millions of US dollars to foreign businessmen, claiming they needed the businessmen to open accounts for them or to give them money in order to access a greater amount of money. In return for this favor, the crime syndicate promised to pay a commission, usually a part of the mythical millions.
It pretended to have the support of a profile adviser of the South African Reserve Bank, a lawyer with a Cape Town law firm that did not exist, a certain Khaya Ngema who was allegedly a senior official with the Department of Finance and one Themba Mkhwane, an "employee" of the Department of Minerals and Energy Affairs. These people were proved to not exist.
Businessmen and individuals were also provided with passwords to access a fake Reserve Bank web site. They were convinced of the legality of this transaction by the fake attorneys' letters and website.
The scam letters claimed that certain government departments needed help in transferring $21.6 million. This money would come from "over-invoiced" contract amounts that were executed for a department. It would be in the department's account at the Reserve Bank pending proper proof of claim. According to the letters such practices were common in South Africa and 100% risk free.
During the raid in Sandton, the Scorpions discovered 181 such letters addressed to people all over the world and CDs with a US and Canadian mailing list. Sixteen cell phones, 22 sim cards and documents were also confiscated.
Investigating officer Gerhard Louw, a Scorpion's director of special operations, testified that one of the cell phones was linked to Washington. "The bank received information about this web site. We tracked down the accused in Sandton when the phone permanently diverted to Washington was off the divert mode for 83 seconds," Louw said.
State prosecutor Advocate Paul Louw argued that the syndicate assumed the corporate identity of the Reserve Bank and created a fictitious firm of attorneys. "This syndicate abuses the good name of the South African Reserve Bank. This bank is the cornerstone of our economy (and) we cannot afford that it be attacked for other's own personal gain. They also hijacked the identity of government departments," said the prosecutor.
Defence advocate Nick Potgieter said in mitigation that Williams was the father of three children in Nigeria, and that he had entered the country legally in May to do a computer course. Potgieter said Williams met a certain Rabatu while doing the course who "lured my client into the scam and then left him in charge when he (Rabatu) left the country."
He told Williams that although he was lured into the scam, he had ample time to pull out and go back to Nigeria.
--- boilerplate text ends ---
(1) Scorpions - a special anti-corruption unit of the South African Police Service.
